New Year, New Word

My husband and I had a yoga session a couple of weeks ago led by one of my best friends (Beth). We always set an intention for our sessions, and I already knew what mine would be.

I seek a new word at the end of each year for what the focus of the new year should be; this was my first time to do so at yoga. We always end yoga in shavasana (corpse pose) with a short time for meditation/relaxation/contemplation, so I was hoping to receive my word then.

As we lay in shavasana, Beth placed rice bags on our eyes, led us to let go of what didn’t serve us, guided us to a state of relaxation, and helped us open ourselves up to “be still and know.”

I asked again to receive my word for the year.

After a moment of darkness laced with colors, I saw the outline of a sparkling purple butterfly. This faded as it flew away. Then, the darkness opened up to a wolf standing on the edge of a cliff, mouth open, panting, looking around at the scenery of a desert. This then faded, and it got dark. Just completely black.

I felt a word rise up in my mind: “TRANSFORM.”

I questioned: “Transform? Really? Are you sure?”

Everything went bright white as if to say, “Yes. No room for discussion.” Things faded to dark again as the occasional color swirled in my mind. Beth brought us back to ourselves and our surroundings, and we finished the session: “Namaste.”

Artwork by Ximena Vasquez

She asked if either of us saw anything. I shared my experience. My husband walked outside to vape and when he did, Beth’s cat Church came bolting in from outside. He walked over to her for a second, then made a beeline towards me, throwing himself down on the blanket I had across my lap, demanding pettings. As I cuddled him, she and I talked about how he always stares at me from outside while we do yoga. We laughed about him being obsessed with me, and she snapped a couple of pics on her phone.

I got up to excuse myself to go to the bathroom while she put him back outside. When I got into the bathroom my head spun, and I felt off-balance as if I had vertigo. We attributed it to maybe my equilibrium shifted during yoga.

On our way back out to my car, I felt a little woozy, but nothing major. My husband and I talked about going to a local coffee shop to get apple-cider and a hot tea. A few miles down the road, it was as if something suddenly burst in my brain. It was the weirdest sensation, like a miniature explosion in my head, and my surroundings turned sideways and everything was too bright and loud. It only lasted a couple of seconds and then stopped.

We got to the coffee shop and as we waited in the drive-through line, Beth sent me the pics she took of me with her cat. (Pics below.) I quickly noticed the white light on my head and asked her about it. She said she was about to ask me about it: “Is it a ghost or your crown?”  

First pic of Church and me

I had no explanation. It just seemed odd to capture this anomaly after receiving my word, and correspondingly to start having these weird dizzy spells.

We finally got home and once again, my head spun. I walked to the bathroom and declared out loud that if it was indeed a ghost and had attached itself to me, it was not allowed to do so and needed to leave immediately. (Better safe than sorry.) My head still felt fuzzy and my ears were ringing, so I went to lie down for a bit. A little while later, I felt fine.

It was the strangest experience. Anyone have an opinion as to what this was, if anything? Coincidence? Or something else?

Second pic of Church and me

Regardless, my word for last year was “heal,” and man, I learned so much about healing trauma, did a lot of inner work, and met some amazing folks along the way. Now, with this year’s word being “TRANSFORM,” I can only imagine what’s to come.

Happy New Year, sweet souls!

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