We still have time to make changes, save our home, and better the world. But time is drawing near to there being no way of going back.
I stood up, turned around, and gasped. Frozen in fear, I watched a black snake slither twelve feet in front of me... I was afraid to move or make a sound... Little did I know that moment was a foreshadowing of things to come.
I asked again to receive my word for the year. After a moment of darkness laced with colors, I saw the outline of a sparkling purple butterfly. This faded as it flew away. Then, the darkness opened up to a wolf standing on the edge of a cliff, mouth open, panting, looking around at the scenery of a desert. This then faded, and it got dark. Just completely black.
My life was turned on its head in 2019. What I held true crumbled around me. It’s been an unsettling period of growth. A period of learning while unlearning. A period of grief and healing. A period of seeing where I’ve been and rediscovering who I am, what I believe/think, and which direction I want to go.
Ever have one of those mornings when everything that can go wrong, does go wrong? So, I'm using a filter to help me force a smile, cause damn! This morning kicked my ass. But I'm thinking it was to get my attention.
In previous relationships, that was exactly what I was taught. I wasn't good enough. I had to earn respect. I had to perform to be loved. I had to make the other person happy through what I could do for them. Otherwise, I was worthless and unworthy.
What has happened to me? I used to be a social butterfly, but after my emotional/mental breakdown last fall, I've become nearly reclusive.