Just a writer sharing her thoughts, life, and journey.
He didn't just physically assault me; that happened sporadically. Every day he demolished my spirit, controlled my mind, dug a grave for my self-esteem, and buried me with his words. I became a prisoner to be ruled, an unworthy subject that was handpicked by the king himself, who allowed me to be a part of his kingdom.
That's the true nature of bipolar disorder. It's a treacherous, lying beast. It makes me feel like a superhero who flies around saving the world by sheer willpower and strength. Then BAM! It sucker-punches me in the gut and sends me spiraling into oblivion with one fell swoop. Enter in my arch-nemesis, The Darkness.
This disorder is debilitating. It's too high speed plummeting to deep despairing pits of darkness. It's ugly. It's mean. It's dangerous.
Any efforts I made in trying to make things better were failed attempts, because the hurt was too much for even me to handle. It was ALL out of my control.
If things had come together like I had hoped, I would have missed out on both of the experiences with my grandmothers. Instead, I have moments I can treasure for the rest of my life. So when things don't go as you plan, just know God can see the big picture. We are limited by what we think we know.
Success does not equate to wealth. There are much more impactful ways by which success should be measured.
Amanda Jewel Warren 