Just a writer sharing her thoughts, life, and journey.
I’m not perfect... And while all of the things I have been through may have affected my emotional and mental health, they don’t excuse the bad behavior or the pain I also inflicted on others. Those are things I am still dealing with...
As I pulled onto the road and out of the neighborhood, I began sobbing. I felt guilty for leaving and relieved that I got out. I mourned the death of my marriage and rejoiced it was over.
Suddenly, it hit me. Ten years had passed since my first marriage ended, and I had somehow married the same man... How did this happen? How did I end up right where I began?
I thought since I'd forgiven my abusers, I had moved on. I figured it was settled, over, and done... But when I start to scratch beneath the surface, I can feel the storm still raging within me. All the issues I've had over the years stem from the aftermath of abuse.
That's the true nature of bipolar disorder. It's a treacherous, lying beast. It makes me feel like a superhero who flies around saving the world by sheer willpower and strength. Then BAM! It sucker-punches me in the gut and sends me spiraling into oblivion with one fell swoop. Enter in my arch-nemesis, The Darkness.
I'm struggling lately. I've been sick for about a month now, and my doctor can't figure out why. I've been tested for covid three times--all negative. White blood count is a little bit low, indicating there may be some sort of virus my body is dealing with, but I'm starting to think, some of this… Continue reading In the Middle of a Depressive Episode
This disorder is debilitating. It's too high speed plummeting to deep despairing pits of darkness. It's ugly. It's mean. It's dangerous.
Amanda Jewel Warren 