Just a writer sharing her thoughts, life, and journey.
Why? Why on earth did I get up from the table? I could have sat in my little corner and said, “Good to see you” or let her take the reins of the conversation. But now, standing there with wide eyes and shaking hands, I feel myself slipping into the skin of the person I used to be (aka who I think they expect me to be), but it no longer fits.
My life was turned on its head in 2019. What I held true crumbled around me. It’s been an unsettling period of growth. A period of learning while unlearning. A period of grief and healing. A period of seeing where I’ve been and rediscovering who I am, what I believe/think, and which direction I want to go.
I almost cried in the middle of the store as my little girl self related to the stories being shared. I started to understand the depth of the longing within me. I can only begin healing by acknowledging the experiences and validating the emotions of my childhood. The only way I can grow and heal as an adult is to first connect with and love the little girl in me.
I have let fear take control of me. At one point I thought I was fearless, but somehow, I let it creep and settle in and make itself at home within me. I’m hoping—no, I know—as I continue healing, I will become fearless once again.
Amanda Jewel Warren 