Living with bipolar disorder. Working through trauma. This is my story.
I almost cried in the middle of the store as my little girl self related to the stories being shared. I started to understand the depth of the longing within me. I can only begin healing by acknowledging the experiences and validating the emotions of my childhood. The only way I can grow and heal as an adult is to first connect with and love the little girl in me.
My body, mind, and soul feel the need to breathe deep, focus on some self care, and create new things.
I had a nervous breakdown a couple of weeks ago that led me to a deep, dark place that scared me. I understand why people advise not to write publicly about things you've not yet healed from. Reliving these situations has left me feeling raw and exposed. While I plan to continue sharing, I am going to have to be careful how I go about it.
Sometimes it takes a change of perspective to change our plans. Sometimes it takes similar situations in others for us to really look at ourselves.
I was standing in the hallway, pouting with no answers as to why what I wanted would not come to life.
My mother and I have often talked about how Christians tend to be the hardest on each other especially. We are quick to point fingers at how someone is missing the mark in their own walk in order to keep from seeing we could stand to make changes ourselves. “Christians. We eat our own,” my mother has said to me.
Writing is not glamorous and it's not always fun. But I love weaving words together into sentences, and sentences into paragraphs, and paragraphs into stories more than I love doing anything else. It is a gift from the one who created me.
Amanda Jewel Warren 